3 basic behaviours that advocacy groups need from those seeking ‘ally’ status.
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“Allyship is when a person of privilege works in solidarity and partnership with a marginalized group of people to help take down the systems that challenge that group’s basic rights, equal access, and ability to thrive in our society.”
Wanting to be of assistance is a common human tendency. Many people will be exposed to a social justice situation via the media, that they empathize with…they want to help ‘right a societal wrong’. From #metoo to #BLM to LGBTQ+ rights to Indigenous Truth & Reconciliation — there are a host of advocacy groups that are making their viewpoint heard loud and clear. Those of us who live outside of these marginalized groups have a desire (and are called) to lend a hand in the movement. Change accelerates when people from outside of your advocacy group take up some of the change workload. Yet, the way you go about allyship work is such a crucial consideration. One can engage in ‘helping out’ with behaviours that are either accepted by an advocacy group or behaviours that the advocacy group calls out as colonial, patronizing or privileged. Here are 3 behaviour patterns that will help you gain the trust of a community that you do not initially belong to.
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1 Take a Secondary Position
This may seem obvious. Yet many folks who come from societal positions outside of the groups they are looking to assist, often have not done the self-reflecting to ensure they do not bring their dominant behaviours to the advocacy situation. These dominant behaviours include talking too much, wanting to lead initiatives, thinking they know more than those they are looking to assist and wanting to build structures and processes that look similar to the ones most advocacy groups are trying to break down. The term ‘mansplaining’ in a feminist environment is a concrete example of the types of dominant behaviours I am speaking about. In short, make sure that you are not chairing meetings, doing interviews in the media, talking more than you are listening — and generally being comfortable with being in a secondary position. This type of behaviour will go a long way towards gaining the respect and the trust of any advocacy group.
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2 Own Your Societal Privileges
The allyship dynamic we are contemplating always involves someone who does not have the primary lived experience…wanting to add themselves to the advocacy work of a particular marginalized group. So, an able-bodied person working on behalf of the disability community — a person of european ancestry assisting with a Black Lives Matter initiative — a heterosexual male sitting on a Pride Month Committee — a settler adult helping to set up for an Indigenous Treaty Rights protest. Owning the society-given privileges that you bring to the table, it a necessary prerequisite for the work you are about to do. Explicitly ‘owning’ the advantages that society affords English-speaking, able-bodied, heterosexual, male citizens of european ancestry is an essential starting point for allyship work. If you are struggling with the functional concepts of historic, societal power and privilege — then you may not be in the correct mindset to assist in advocacy actions.
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3 Be a Learner, Not a Teacher
Empty your cup. Be 100% open to listening and learning from the groups you want to support. Those who are leaders in the marginalized community you want to do allyship work in…have a library of anecdotal, narrative, academic & experiential knowledge that you could use to grow your understanding of the history and context of their main societal issues. Coming into an unfamiliar community pushing your own ‘ways of knowing’ is a definite faux pas. In fact, fronting a traditional viewpoint within an equity, diversity and inclusion atmosphere will usually be met with resistance and mistrust from any advocacy seeking group. So be a learner. Embrace the new, innovative, anti-colonial ideas that attracted you to this allyship work in the first place. There is very little that you can ‘teach’ a self-actualized, intelligent, passionate advocacy group…so do not try. Instead, soak up and enjoy the ‘ways of knowing’ that already exist within the community you are willing to support. If you can commit to the 3 behaviour patterns outlined above, you will be creating space for acceptance in the equity seeking communities that you want to become a peripheral member of. Remember…you are not an ‘ally’ until the advocacy group you are consistently supporting — says so.